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May. 1st, 2007


006; no two people could have been more alone


The lawsuit was dropped.  Which means although I am still off of the Core staff, my ass, pride, and higher education are now off the line.  And thank God for it.  Maybe the means to the end sort of sucked, but I won't lie and say I'm not glad to be in the clear.  I mean, I have every right to be happy.  Everything ended up going my way.  I've emerged from the experience unscathed, Jesse is still going to graduate, Manny and Craig broke up.  Is there a downside?  Other than Craig being so broken up about it.  I don't want to say that I told him it was coming, but.. well, I did, didn't I?  That goes for Jesse too, thankfully.  I'd say a celebration is probably in order, but he seems to be too busy being completely nonexistant to celebrate anything.  But the school year is finally beginning to wrap, so I can't blame him.  He's got a lot going on.  Mostly I'm worried about him spending so much time around Nina.  Nina!  Nina who kicked me off of the Core staff, Nina who has been trying to ruin my life since I started at UoT for reasons completely unknown.  I thought Jesse hated her.  But whatever, hell if I'm going to become super overprotective insane girlfriend material.  I'm above that.

Things have been quiet on the household front.  Dylan is finishing up hockey season, Marco is busy following Dylan around, and Paige has been in the area more often than anyone would desire her to be lately.  And she's been spending time with Sean?  Weird.  Last time I talked to her, she was planning some ridiculous Paige-esque party, so I'm sure that will all be culminating to a night of complete insanity before too long.  I'm certainly on the edge of my seat waiting.  You should be, too.

I'm hungry.  Bagel time.

Apr. 3rd, 2007


005; these are the eyes of disarray

It's been a real hell of a week.

I don't know if it was some huge mistake or just really cruel irony that left me assigned to interviewing Manny Santos for The Core this week.  Judging on how the interview went, I'm guessing it's because no one else on staff could bring themselves to sit through hell on earth.  Honestly.  I just wanted to do the damn interview and get out of there, write some vapid article and not have to think about it anymore.  But then shows up all late and wa
she s her normal, blood-curdling bitchy self about it.. she knows how to push my buttons.  It just went downhill from there.

Bad interviews lead to unpleasant articles, which shouldn't surprise anyone.  Craig's mad as hell.  Wanted to know why I had to be so harsh.  What am I supposed to say to him?  "I'm sorry, I was mean to your stupid girlfriend because I'm mad she's monopolizing all of your time and I hate it"?  No.  Because I don't care who he spends his time with, it's his life.

And apparently when you're a rising star, unpleasant articles lead to court summons.  I'm being sued.  The Core is being sued.  It's all completely ridiculous and unnecessary.  And could have been completely avoided if Jesse just hadn't published the damn thing like he said he wouldn't.  I know he was just being Jesse.  Doing what would make me happy.  That's what he always does.  Now all of our asses, and the paper's reputation are on the line.  And it's all my fault.

I'm not going to apologize.  She can take me to court for all I'm worth (which isn't much).  My dad knows some really great lawyers.  None of this would be a big deal if Jesse's degree wasn't on the line for it.  If there's one thing I'm sorry for, it's the fact that he's involved.

So, you know, if you want a piece of local history in the making, I'm sure I could snag anybody a copy of the paper who wants one.

Mar. 21st, 2007

the boytoy.

004; the end will justify the pain it took

Forget everything I said about things dying down. Spring break seems to have everyone running in full force, which makes things difficult considering all I really feel like doing is sleeping.

Jesse and I finally managed to get to spend some time together - he really went all out, too, which was sweet. And then he told me that he loved me. And things pretty much went downhill from there. Which was my fault, completely. A smart, thoughtful, gorgeous guy tells me he loves me and all I can do is freak out. There's nothing not to love about him. And I want to love him. I want to fall, hard, because I know he's not going to hurt me. It's just hard to process all of it, and Sean says if I have to think about it this much then I don't love him, but I think this hard about everything! I haven't had a chance to see him much since then, but hopefully we'll get another chance to soon.

In celebration of spring break, Ash and I went on a wild and crazy road trip. How I'd missed her spectacular driving. We ended up at a spa of all places, and before any of you even say anything, I'll have you know that a seaweed wrap is about as wild and crazy as life gets. It's obvious she's had a lot on her mind lately - all the Jay and Jimmy business alone would be enough to stress me out. And she's one of my best friends, and I'm supposed to support her decisions, but.. I don't know. The idea of her and Jay is just weird for me. I feel so bad for Jimmy. We're making plans to catch a concert by this ska band that she likes sometime soon. I'm looking forward to it, I definitely don't get to see her often enough.

Speaking of people I don't see often enough, a certain Mr. Manning has appeared back in town to grace us with his presence.  And just being around him is enough to convince me all the rumors that were flying around are complete crap.  I feel guilty for ever thinking otherwise.  We spent some time catching up in the garage, like old times.  He definitely had more to talk about than I did!  The trials and tribulations of being a rockstar and all.

I'm going to go try to get some of my reading done before Paige comes back for the weekend - can't even tell you how great it is to not have her around, even if it is only for a few days.

Mar. 2nd, 2007


003; it'll be a long hard road

Well, I haven't written since Britney Spears shaved her head, which is a sure sign that it's been too long. Not that I've had loads of free time to lounge around in. Midterm exams have sent the whole house into a frenzy. It's a learning experience. Like yesterday, I learned that entering Marco's room after eleven while he's studying is not a good idea unless you've come to bring him coffee. Oh, college, where would I be without you and your life lessons?

Spinner was kind enough to remind me on Wednesday that my Dot frequent-shopper card was about to expire, taking my free caramel macchiato with it. That's Employee of the Month material if I've ever seen it. Plus, the sugar content in that drink was enough to keep me going all night. And between the anthropology paper I had to complete and the physics at-home lab for Thursday, I definitely needed the whole night.

I did manage to get a little bit of a break, Sean and I went mini-golfing one afternoon. As you raise your eyebrows at your computer screen wondering what the hell we were thinking, I'd like to point out it was his idea. It was a good time, though. We both needed a little bit of fun. Him more so than me, maybe. He's seemed really down in the dumps since he broke up with Emma. Whatever, though, not my business. I'm not getting wrapped up in anyone else's drama just as I finally start enjoying everything away from Degrassi.

Toronto's own pseudo-Kid Rock had a party at his house not too long ago, which was spectacularly lame, not unlike everything he does.  At least no one got punched this time.  That was a nice change.

I'm not the only one who's been busy. Jesse's been really loaded down lately, the whole Core staff has, from this 10th anniversary edition that's supposed to be hitting the printers by this evening. Just walking into the office is like entering a war zone. Everyone's stressing out, even Nina's being more of a bitch than usual, and I didn't even think such things were possible.  Hopefully by seven tonight, though, everything will be running smoothly again, and we'll be able to get some time in together.  I think we've earned it by now.

Feb. 8th, 2007


002; so we just skirt the hallway signs

Oh hey.  Paige went back to Banting.  Excuse me while I wipe away my tears.

Honestly, the place has been a lot quieter since she left.  Which is nice.  Marco's been bombed down with schoolwork, Dylan seems to spend most of his time silently sulking about how busy Marco is.  That leaves me with the perfect environment to crash, do homework, and work on my stuff for The Core.  I was even able to have Jesse over and keep him all to myself.  Usually you bring over one guest, and within twenty minutes it's turned into a movie night and everyone you know is crashing on the couch.  He's such a good boyfriend.  Smart, and funny, and good to me and so patient about.. everything.  You know.  It's not that I don't want to.  It's just complicated.  How are you supposed to know when you're really ready?

Sean and I met up at the Uni bar a few days ago.  It was good to see him again.  He's having a lot of problems with Emma, apparently.  Am I surprised?  Not at all.  But there's nothing I can really do about it, that's his issue.  I don't want to interfere.

I managed to drag Jesse to Degrassi's season football opener.  Not because I like football, and definitely not because I like Degrassi, but because Alex told me it would be something worth seeing.  Which, apparently, her prancing around in spanky pants as the newest member of the Spirit Squad is.  Manny is turning her into a mindless drone.  Spirit Squad?  Prom Committee?  The Alex I know would not stand for that kind of crap.  It's bad enough that she has Craig wrapped around her little finger.  Does she have to steal all of my friends?  There was an afterparty, but Jesse and I didn't stay for too long.  Guess Sully's parties haven't changed much in terms of quality, huh.

Anyway, I have an article that needs to be done by five today, and not a lot of time to finish it in.  Later.

Jan. 21st, 2007


001; would you feel anything at all

I spent high school having the same two conflicting statements repeatedly thrown at me - the first being "Of course high school's going to be hard.  You're being prepared for university!"  The second?  "You're going to be so happy when you graduate.  College is so much more enjoyable."  I always figured that hey, I'd graduate, I'd go to university, figure it out for myself.  As for my final decision?

All I've got to say is what the hell.  This is the most upside down, back-and-forth, high-and-low, topsy turvy experience I've ever had.  For Christ sake, I just used the phrase "topsy turvy".  Is it evident that I'm losing it yet?  It's not like college isn't great.  It's a high step above Degrassi, that's for sure.  But between the perpetual stream of essays, the imbeciles I have to deal with in the good majority of my classes, and the snobby-as-hell upperclassmen on the newspaper staff, I can't help but get a little stressed.

Marco is always telling me to chill out.  It's not like I have acceptance letters to worry about and it's not like I'm flunking out.  He's always telling me to relax, breathe, enjoy the time I've got with my friends before they suddenly pick up and move halfway across the country with their new fancy jobs and college diplomas.  Then he usually rolls his eyes pointedly, clears his throat, and passes me the coffee.  That boy's eyes could kill, I swear it to you.

He's within his rights in being peeved with me.  Even living with him and Dylan, my recent time has been slightly, ahem, monopolized by Jesse, my, like, super amazing college boyfriend, oh my God.  In all honesty, he's standing behind me right now, breathing down my neck like only a creepy stalker would.  I guess I should say something nice about him, just on principle. 
He's great.  Really.  If slightly creepy.  If you haven't met him yet, you probably will soon.  I promise to keep his muzzle on.

I am trying to keep up with everyone - even though in most cases I do seem to be failing spectacularly.  In fact, the only person who seems to be doing worse than I am as far as keeping up goes is Mr. Craig Manning.  Have you never heard of a calling card, sir?  I really just want him to know how happy I am.  That I'm doing fine without him.  I don't need him around.  I don't.